things I've learned about motherhood - part 1

Here is my feeble attempt to write what I've learned about motherhood. It will fill in the gaps of restlessness between working on my real job and other projects. To connect with readers, and to validate my obsession with being a mother. To procrastinate between art projects, to keep me awake while I'm waiting for my oil change or for my inspiration to kick in. 

ME: 30-something with a baby. Not a mommy expert in any way. Absolutely in LOVE with my little girl and my partner. Life is hard, life is really rewarding. 

Here are a few things I've learned.

I'll start with a list, and I promise to eventually expand and offer something more in the way of anecdotes. 

1. I can't do everything. I've been a runner most of my life. Now, at this current juncture in life, I am not a runner. I am prioritizing other things. I still feel a jealous sting when other people post pictures of their running, and at some point I'll get back into the habit, because I'm a born runner (not in a braggy way, more in a hyperative dog sort of way) BUT I chose this path - I am working on other things now, I don't have time for everything. Finding time was really hard at first, and I didn't get anything done while I was on maternity leave. I bitched about how I could only seem to accomplish laundry. But that's how life is for most people. You either get ALL of the laundry done all the time, or you enjoy your life and family while you can. And I'm getting better at doing 10% of about 5 things and then calling it a success. 

It's also really important now that I write down goals and achieve them. This isn't so much about motherhood, but about accepting time management into my life. I'm forced to accept help every day, from a nanny or a family member or Ben. I wouldn't be able to go to work, or breathe, or feel myself without them. 

The other day Ben saw me reading in bed, and asked 'what are you doing!?' --but in a VOLUME that suggested surprise, like seeing a cheetah in the wild. I think I should prioritize reading more. 

2. I love my partner. Ben and I are better when we consciously appreciate everything we do for each other. And when we plan things for us to do, outside of the house, and sometimes without the babe. Having a tiny disaster-toddler makes a LOT of work for everyone. It will always feel like you're doing more work than anyone. But we have so much time and so much potential to fall in love with each other every day, which is really special. 

3. The simple life is amazing. We read books, snuggle, play, and go for walks. I love the time spent at the grocery store with my munchkin. Ordinary things become extraordinary when you have a really cute baby assistant. Luna has learned to spin this week -- she throws off her clothes and spins in circles until she falls down giggling. It's HILARIOUS. I'm sure every mother or father or aunt or uncle or grandma in the history of babies has also found this human development to their delight, I'm really gracious to join their ranks. 

4. I have so much ability to love. I get full body chills when Luna does something funny, and she can't even talk yet. 

That's all for now. More to come. 

Here are some photos of Lu's 1st birthday, which was wildly successful (in that I didn't have a meltdown and everyone had food and beer).

Guest post with Styled by Katie // Spring Fling

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from Katie: 

One of my favorite up and coming brands that I have started to become OBSESSED with is Show Me Your MuMu. The line was started by two free-spirited and lively ladies, one who hails from Newport Beach. The idea struck them when you moved to Manhattan, and would consistently purchase shirts and tops in sizes much larger than they wore, stretch out the neck, and throw over vintage slips to become the ideal comfy yet cute mumu-esque dress. However, they could never find the ideal fit. It needed to be baggy and short -- flattering and girly -- but not so much as to swallow you whole. Why not, they decided, create this much-needed staple themselves?? And so they did, reinventing The MuMu. Their line can be worn by all sizes, and shapes, and comes in all sorts of fun colors and prints. Like I said, I'm obsessed!

Another brand I am swooning over (and has blown up over the last couple of years) is Stone Cold Fox! These California beach girls believe in ‘Quality of Quantity,” and that good things are worth waiting for. Every piece is locally made in California, only made when its ordered, and packed by the girls behind SCF. They boast self-designed textiles, sand-washed silks. Each item is thought out and personal. Keeping the company USA made, not mass marketed and a bit hard to find, the girls love the idea that having a SCF piece is like finding a treasure. 

Painted Bird shoes are so incredible different than anything I have seen! Each pair of Painted Bird shoes are like a beautiful jewel for your feet. They are artisan crafted, hand crocheted shoes resulting in a product that is altogether exquisite and unique, as well as incredibly comfortable. They are so great for a day at the beach or a casual night out, my favorite are the ones that lace up your leg!

Katie

Find me on my blog here : styled by katie.

the greatest joy

I love watching these two together so much. girls. Making each other laugh. Luna entirely captivated by India's big-kid abilities. You can see the love in their eyes. 

weekends: edition 1

A peek into the weekends of our contributors. Nothing crazy, usually.

April 12-13

ABBY:

Lately, I spend my Saturdays drawing in a studio art class for 5-6 hours. 

Even though there were about 10 things I could be working on, I had a selfish Sunday; ran for 5 miles in the morning and then walked to The Cellar off of Del Mar to try the newly launched Bear Coast Coffee (it did not disappoint).

MARISSA:

So, this weekend I finally tried the bourgeois toast joint in San Francisco I heard about on NPR and obsessed over.

I hiked in Tiburon's redwoods and really bonded with my future sister in law. Then drank beer on our friend's roof and watched the sunset. I watched my brother in law graduate nursing school, and my heart was so full of pride for him. We drank whiskey and played Coachella live on TV and danced to arcade fire. 

This weekend was magical. Back to reality, and detoxing.

ALLY: 

I spent my weekend cleaning up after barf-fest and preparing for a certain 1-yr-old's birthday. Boring! I can't wait for NEXT weekend. 

made in the usa - Spring housewares roundup

Spring is a good time to freshen up your home. Pull back the curtains, rearrange your workspaces, hang some new art on the walls. My main objective in interior design is to create a space that affects people in a positive way. It's always captivated me, how a space can impact your mood and desires. 

We've compiled a few statement pieces that go a long way to freshen up your space. All are made in the states, and represent our love of handmade, keepsake goods. These beauties will live with you way past spring. (besides the soap, obviously)

scout folks spring housewares roundup - made in the usa

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Courtney - I love Joinery NYC. I have a few items from them and they have become such adored pieces in my home. I've had my eye on their planters for a while now. A few of the other pieces I've found shopping around LA and online. I think my favorite part about interior design is that it's always changing - you can add a new plant or a new fabric and you feel suddenly lifted. 

Thanks for reading! We'll do a less crunchy version of housewares soon.  - A&C

people we love - Brian White

Ally edit - this is the first entry to Scout Folks by Abby Oliva, who will be contributing people stories here. Hope you enjoy, and drop her a line if you have any interesting folks you’d like to know more about.

Getting to Know You

Brian White and I decided to meet at Provisions at the Orange Circle, a great place in Old Town to find and enjoy the craft brews for which you will gladly spend a bit (and sometimes, considerably) more. He walked in a few minutes after I arrived, we exchanged hugs and pleasantries, ordered our beers, and found a quiet table to sit and catch up.

After setting down his drink, he took off his jacket revealing a henley that held on to toned shoulder and chest muscles.  

I asked, in my best pseudo-sleaze tone, “dude, have you been working out?”

“I have to, for work,” he answered with slight exasperation.

I paused for a moment, wondering why his employer would require that he work out (and how that could possibly be legal), when he read the look on my face and answered the unspoken question.

“This is what I do all day!” he said with a smile, pointing to his beer.

Best Job Ever

As the “Beer Evangelist” for Monkish Brewing Company in Torrance, California - Mr. White spends a fair amount of time in fellowship with craft beer enthusiasts and sharing the good (beer) news with hopeful converts. Suffice to say he drinks a fair amount of beer. With two other well-known SoCal brewers on his CV (Karl Strauss and The Bruery, respectively), he knows his stuff, and is the perfect guy to approach with your beer wants, needs, and queries. Monkish brews mostly Belgian-style ales, and is relatively new to the brewery scene, just celebrating their 2nd anniversary. I visited their little spot with Ally and her family, and we got to indulge in some of their best work. 

Like any industry, the longer you stay in it, the smaller it gets, and the brewing world is no exception. I asked Brian how he was able to nurture existing relationships while being able to start others.

BW:  You have to keep working on rebranding yourself, but it’s all about networking. You maintain contacts, you don’t burn bridges - you try not to, I’ve burnt some. You make mistakes and learn the hard way. A lot. Basically, it’s just about being a decent human being and just being kind, I think. And honest, not artificial. Being authentic with people. Especially in sales, there’s your typical salesman – and to them you’re just a number and they want to meet goals. I always hated that. Never wanted to be that or do that.

Watching him in motion at the Monkish tasting room, you can see that when it comes to this craft that his knowledge is outweighed only by his passion. During my visit I decided to order a tasting flight and let him take the reigns. I didn't know that Belgian beer had such a range, I was blown away.  

Extra Credit

When he isn’t delighting beer fans, Brian’s taking a stand for at-risk youth and working to provide hope. (No big deal, right?) In 2005 he began searching for a way to help stop human trafficking, a cause that’s gained a significant amount of momentum in the past few years.

BW:  I don’t even remember how I got into it, the issue of human trafficking and modern-day slavery, but I caught onto it… I had this dream of starting an Orange County abolitionist group and I emailed the president of Free the Slaves (Kevin Bales), who wrote one of the books, Disposable People. ...And they invited me to come to San Francisco, so I went up there and met him and his right hand guys. And I think I was at a Thai restaurant and I just thought, “what am I doing here, I’m just some 22-year-old with nothing to give.”

In 2013, the opportunity to make an impact presented itself. A friend of his had read a post on Brian’s blog about human trafficking and the desire to be involved in a solution, and this friend just so happened to know the president of the SOLD Project. The SOLD Project is a nonprofit organization that works to prevent child prostitution by educating the at-risk youth in northern Thailand and providing scholarships and resources to break a cycle of poverty and exploitation. Brian was able to meet with the president of the organization and ended up traveling to Thailand with them for an eye-opening and life-changing experience.

BW:  It’s a giant circle. Life always comes full circle even when you’re not aware.

AO: Right. Life, work, relationships, yourself; everything is cyclical.

BW: Except, hopefully, each time it comes out a little bit better.

When he returned to the States, he was brought on as a Southern California representative for them; if you want to learn more about the SOLD Project and need someone to come speak about it – he’s your Huckleberry.

Why We Love Him

Being a beer savvy humanitarian seems reason enough to like someone. The element that puts Brian on another level is his genuine compassion for all walks of life. Whether he is pouring a Seme Della Vita (quite possibly the best beer I have ever had, by the way) or striving to stop oppression – his heart and soul are in it, completely. There is nothing forced or fabricated in the way he interacts with his fellow man. He attributes this authenticity to being totally confident in anything he is offering and discovering a deeper acceptance during graduate school.  

AO:  You have your MA in Theology, how has that impacted the way you look at the world and interact with people?

BW:  I learned to think of everything in context. The reality is that I could have been born somewhere else and I might be the same person and I could have the same passions – but I would be Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim. And you have to be haunted by that fact, that you could be completely different, and ask yourself, “am I just a product of where I am or am I able to think outside of culture?” And so I learned to appreciate everything and be more open and understanding of cultural differences and life experiences. And I’ve kind of gotten rid of an objective truth in a way. That maybe there is a truth that is somewhat objective, but there is only a subjective view of it. Humans are bound to language, culture, to all these things. So when you realize that, you become a kinder person and you don’t judge, because ultimately, what do you know? Just that you’re a person of faith and that faith is good.

This energy, open-mindedness, and organic love for mankind make him one-of-a-kind. 

AO:  What is one thing that you have learned that you would share with the world?

BW:  It’s simple: Live a life of faith, hope, and love.

Learn more about Monkish here http://www.monkishbrewing.com/home
Learn more about the SOLD Project here http://thesoldproject.com/

Follow his personal blog here http://bluecollarlove.blogspot.com/

all photos by Benjamin Squirrell. 

darling dinner

This past Friday, Abby and I had the pleasure of attending a Darling Dinner in LA. 

Google Maps routed us STRAIGHT through South Central (don't tell my mom), but we ended up at a lovely DTLA creative space and shared dinner with new friends. 

It was an amazing experience - the quickness and intensity with which a group of 30 women opened up to each other was really unexpected. I had been anticipating more of a blogger gathering: surface networking, pleasant smiles, exchanged numbers. But it's clear that women, maybe a certain type of woman, maybe an LA woman, needs fellowship. Our common denominator is friendship and candid conversation. 

I hope to participate in more events like this, and help spark a movement of breaking bread with ladies. 

We met up with Faith from New Forage, as well as my friend Maurna. I haven't taken a lot of Friday nights off from Ben and Luna in a while, it's always nice to re-meet my friendly side. And wear a necklace and lipstick without rendering baby damage. 

Thanks, Darling. (Really great food by More Butter Please)

scandophile dinners // christmas in april

Today I'm all daydreams, inspired by Spring's late onset rain storms.

I dream of Christmas all year long, I have since I was a kid. The Danes call it Hygge, a sense of closeness and family and cozy. 

Here are some shots of a dinner Courtney and I infused with our Scandinavian hearts. It's never too late or early for Christmas, right?  I'm heading home to snuggle my family.