Thoughts on motherhood, again.


Having two children has not been easy for me. I think I pray to the God of selfish mothers at least twice a day to PLEASE SEND ME A MASSAGE AND A MARGARITA. I'm not sure if spirited, strong willed children were born before mine. Surely not. 

It's taken me three months with this new being to realize she's picking up my anxiety. And so I've thrown myself into calm. It will all happen. It will all get done. Don't walk in circles, don't fret your face into wrinkles. Stop eating the effing Halloween candy. 

When Luna was born, I selfishly wished she had some sort of deformity or problem: hoping that she would be mine forever. That's a mother's prayer, wanting your children to need you forever. I don't think I would take back these thoughts. 

I know that I can't wish my children into submission. They will grow and bloom, they will hate me, they will lie to me, and hopefully they will come back to me. They will hold me when I need it too. They will teach me in the ways of life. Rhythm above all else. Submit to the rhythm of the earth. The gentle clicking of time is all we know to be true. Love everything as hard as you can. 

I always loved that my own mother is such a passionate giver. I want to be like her. 

To Juni, my baby gnome: Your little hand reaches for my breast and grabs onto my skin. I know now why people say they want to be wanted. You want me and it feels good. It feels natural. It's easier than anything else I know. You want me and I want you. Nothing is as easy as this. We sleep together and your gentle snoring rocks my impatient thoughts to sleep. I wake often to check your breathing, but I'm not tired. I want to remember this feeling until the day I die. That if I do nothing else, I slept with you very well. 



Memorial Day 2015

This past Memorial day was a bit different from the one last year. Instead of packing the beach towels and sand toys to head down to beach all day like we did last year, we spent it indoors with our close friends. Mike and Courtney Laser invited the family over to spend the gloomy cool Monday afternoon hanging at their house. There were around 8 of us in total who were all very close. It was nice to take a break from the madness of our busy schedules to have a glass of wine and listen to a few old songs that took us back to our glory days of high school. Mike tended the grill while the girls snuck away to take Luna to the park that was walking distance from the house. She is quite the playground slide master. After dinner Luna entertained the group showing off her amazing dance moves. I want to say that she has perfected what I call her signature "wiggle" move. We rounded off the evening with grilled nectarines over salt and caramel ice cream for dessert. Here are a few photos. Enjoy.  

Hendy Woods Camping Trip

Last weekend, I took Luna on our fist camping adventure alone. I was slightly nervous at the first thought of being by myself with Luna in the woods, far away from the comfort of our home and in a new strange place. This was also the first time that she would be away from mom (Ally) for more than a couple of days. We packed the car with all of our camping equipment and hit the road: leaving in the early morning hours. Ally was with us for the ride up, since we would drop her off at her Spirit Weavers gathering taking place a few miles down the road from where our camp was. Even though the family was split apart at different camp sites, it was comforting to be close. I knew that Luna would be fine and we would have an amazing time. We were joined by other Spirit Weavers Dads--dad camaraderie at its finest. This trip would mark the beginning of future adventures for years to come. Here are a few photos. Enjoy!


So our friends at Parenthoods have built this awesome community of SF parents.  I'm DYING for them to bring it down south, or I might just have to move the fam up to SF. 

Best news though - You can still join if you don't live in SF - and it'll help them expand! 

Even better news -- We're part of their new DISCOUNTS section. Sign up to see what discount we're giving. 

And check out the deals from these awesome partners that love parents:

Urbansitter, Munchery, Blue Apron, Kitchit Tonight, Sensible Sitters, Washio, Rinse, Unwind Me, Le Tote, RocksBox, NewboRN Solutions, Recess Urban Playground, Earth Baby, La Petite Baleen, Music For Aardvarks, Tutu School, Kuk Sool Won Martial Arts, KidAdmit, Doorman, YourMechanic, Fresh Baby Bites, CellScope, Nesting Days, KitHub, Little Hip Squeaks, NV Blue SF, Scout Folks, Printastic, Sincerely, Zipadee-Zip, Avital Tours, Garrett's Granola


I'm calling this PART 1, hoping that PART 2 will be my foray into diapering. This post provided by my lovely writer friend, Riley.




How to Cloth Diaper

By Riley McDermid


So you’ve made one of the great parenting cultural war decisions and chosen to cloth diaper. Good luck to you, because you’ve basically just written yourself a blank check for everyone you know to weigh in on something that shouldn’t be controversial, but apparently fascinated most people.

You will hear it all--wow, how gross; what’s wrong with disposables; doesn’t it waste water; don’t you have to change her all the time; etc etc etc.

Now it is time to take the first, and most important step: Ignore these people. They usually have no idea what they are talking about, and secondly, it’s your call, and you made it. So stick to your guns and cloth diaper the hell out of that baby!


Where to start:

Types of cloth diapers vary. There all the all in ones, the inserts , and then every combination in between. Each of these work differently and each of them fulfill the basic need of keeping your baby dry. but they can vary greatly in startup cost, which for our family is always a concern.


What you’ll need:



--Something for a wet bag (you can buy designated wet bags or make your own)

--Sprayer which hooks up to the toilet for when your baby start eating solids

--Washing machine or access to one

--Diaper pail (we just use a $12 plastic trash can from Target, no need to get fancy)


What to do:

To begin with, we went just with straight prefolds covered by a diaper cover. As she was breast and bottle fed, all we had to do after changing her was throw the diaper into the washing machine and when enough laundry was in there to constitute a full load (including clothing and other miscellaneous linens), we would just run a rinse, then do a full wash, and toss it into the dryer. You can get away with this until they start eating solids, when the fun really starts!

Now, the savings associated with this are substantial. Considering Francesca a.k.a. Frankie was going through 80+ diapers a week during her first two months, it saved us around $300 per month for that first “post-trimester,” give or take the brand of diaper and size of pack. Simultaneously, our water and gas bill only went up $15 a month doing that extra load of so. That is nothing to sneeze at, especially if you’re a family on a scrupulously tight budget.


Wipe It Up:

By all means, make your own cloth wipes. One, it is such much better for the environment than just throwing away paper all day long, and two, it is easier on your baby’s little tushy. We cut up some old flannel shirts and cloth diapers and they not only work well, but we just wash them and use them again.

Making your own wipe solution is kind of a fine art though. My husband has a special potion he likes to brew up (he’s Top Secret about the whole thing) but the one I use it two TBS baby oil, two TBS witch hazel and like three drops of scent-free dish detergent. Then put that in a few cups of water, soak your wipes in it, and store them in Ziploc bags. We keep a bag upstairs with her nursery and downstairs for her changes when she’s zooming around during the day.


How to wash:

This is the number one question people will ask you about cloth diapering, but don’t sweat it. You got this. When or if you are just breastfeeding or on formula, all you need to do is acquire enough diapers for a load, then run them through the soak and rinse cycle. Then wash as usual with detergent, even with other cloths. Everything gets rinsed out in that first rinse.

Now, a lot of people swear by special diaper detergents, some family members among them (hi, Cousin Susie!), but I myself have not found them to be any more effective or beneficial than just plain old fashioned original formula Tide. If you really want a sparkling diaper, add some OxiClean to your pre-soak or wash and that’ll get most any stain right out.

After solids, however, you need to step it up a little. You probably will want to get a diaper sprayer like this.

to rinse off solids, then just throw it into the washing machine. We keep our top loader washing machine on SOAK with about eight inches of water in it, and throw in the diapers, and when we have enough for a load, it’s the same drill--rinse on warm, then wash like normal.


Stripping your diapers:

Every once in awhile, you will encounter some diaper build up. This is normal and it can cause either less absorbency or the occasional rash as your baby gets and stays damper. The time-honored tradition of stripping your diapers--basically washing and them at a high temperature with a solvent to get residue off, then rinsing, rinsing, rinsing them until they are back at their original fluffy, absorbent best.

Again, there are various schools of thought on how to do this. I myself am an OxiClean and Blue Dawn believer, because it took 30 perfectly ruined diapers and transformed them into pristine new baby tush covers.

It’s real simple: Wash you diapers in the hottest water possible with a scoop of OxiClean and like half a teaspoon of Blue Dawn (it has to be BLUE, because that’s the magic one, seriously) and then run two hot, hot, hot rinses. Check and see if there are still bubbles in the water--if so, keep rinsing. If not, you are good.

Then, if at all possible, sun dry them. This does all kinds of goods for your diapers. But if not, don’t stress, just throw them in the dryer and get them nice and dry. Then you’re good to go until the next stripping, which at our house is usually every 10 months or so.

So, now that you are forewarned, you are forearmed! Go forth and conquer the great cloth diaper challenge! The world and it’s resources thanks you. Just, dude, don’t be the annoying cloth diaper evangelist at stuff--that gets old.

Hey there hi there

We've been busy lately. Like behind-the-scenes, no credit kind of busy. You know when all your friends think you're cheating on them with other friends, but you're really just home...working on a zillion projects in sweatpants? That's my life.

So this weekend I'm super stoked to get away to Santa Barbara and take some outdoor photos. And see a bunch of pregnant bellies. TWO of my other college roomies are preggo and we're celebrating one of their babes today. It's almost like we took one of those teenage girl pregnancy pacts to all get pregnant at once. Except we're old and we didn't. 

We're going to stop by French Press Coffee - 


[image via Pinterest]

AND hopefully lots of other delightful little SB spaces. I'm excited to wear my new sports bra. THE THINGS you get excited about while pregnant.